but im back! All the Christmas and New Year hoohaa has died down and we're slowly getting back to some kind of normalcy and routine, it's nice.
It's raining today, has been for most of the day and is refreshing to say the least... but while we have water falling from the sky and are embracing it, our fellow Aussies in QLD do not need nor want the rain as they have water washing away their towns and houses causing chaos and destruction and evoking the most raw emotions, ones i never thought i could feel.
I never considered myself an emotional person. I was bullied in school both primary and high school, my friendships never lasted- im too trusting and like to think the best of people but ALWAYS end up getting hurt in the end. During those times in school i was the 'tough' one sticking up for myself and almost never shedding a tear and well now, say boo to me the wrong way and i will bawl. I never used to cry at the drop of a hat like i've (almost) done so many times in the last few years...
I think im going to blame it on my boys, but in a good way... i love being the emotional person i've grown into now and i think it is the hormones of pregnancy and the pure, heart stopping love i feel for my children that has caused the new (well not so new it's been a few years) more emotional me. Sometimes it's not so great but it's all taken in my stride and i deal with it...
I tear up when i hear or read labour and birth stories, when one of my own or one of my friends children do or say something that takes my breath away, when someone tells me how proud of me they are for what i am achieving, when my friends and loved ones are hurting, i hurt too, when i know all i've done is been there for, loved and trusted but still get hurt and especially when i see the raw and heartbreaking devastation and hear the terrified and broken voices of the surviviors of the floods and when i heard, read and saw the devastation caused by the 'Black Saturday' bush fires... it feels like my heart is breaking and then the tears flow and don't stop.
The QLD flood survivors and the unfortunate losses of life, the motivation for this post, i am sending love, courage and strength to get through this horrifying time xx
