Christmas Tree's and cooking...

So as promised, here is a photo of our 'alternative' Christmas Tree :) i love it, it's minimalist and looks exactly the way i imagined. I'll have to take a photo with the lights on and post that at some stage too.

The sticks or twigs are made from dried Chinese Willow trees, i brought them already painted cream, from a giftwares shop and then sprayed them with a little gold pain to add some sparkle. I also brought some gold twig lights to finish it off. The metal bucket comes from a hardware store,  and is filled with sand and then proceeded to push the sticks into the sand. The decorations are ones i've had for a few years, we had so many more leftover this year but that's ok.

Now, onto the cooking i mentioned in the title. I had a bit of time before i needed to start dinner so i thought i'd make some little cakes or muffins for the boys lunch boxes. It's so hard trying to think of different things to add! These are delicious, i had to sample a couple with a cup of tea, quality assurance and all.... I modified this recipe a little, i'll write it out as is and add my modifications/additions in brackets.

Vanilla & Raspberry Cakes
Makes 36

1 1/2 cups S/R flour (i used 1C wholemeal S/R, 1/2 cup white S/R), sifted
1/3 cup caster sugar
1 cup reduced fat vanilla yoghurt (i used 1C low fat organic plain yoghurt & added a teaspoon of vanilla bean paste)
80g light margarine, melted and cooled (i just used butter, it's all i had)
1 egg, lightly beaten
1/2 cup frozen raspberries, lightly crushed
I also added - 1/3 cup pineapple pieces & 1/4 cup desicated coconut. 

Preheat oven to 190/170 fan forced. Grease 36 holes of three 12 hole, 1 1/2 tablespoon-capacity mini muffin pans (i used cupcake papers instead and it made 13).
Combine flour & sugar together in a bowl. Add yoghurt, margarine & egg to flour and mix until just combined. Fold through raspberries, pineapple & coconut. Spoon mixture into prepared pan holes.
Bake for 16-18mins or until golden and cakes spring back when lightly touched. (I cooked mine for about 20-25mins in the end as they were bigger but just keep an eye on them). Transfer to a wire rack to cool... if you can wait that long!

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM!

I've started my placement at the hospital too, 3 weeks, full time, early shifts and late shifts - oh it's going to shatter me! Till' next time...

"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."
Charles Dickens

Green Tea & Salt and Vinegar Chips...

Interesting and fitting title i thought. These two items are comforting me tonight, and the oddness of them suits how im feeling pretty perfectly. It's not that im feeling odd, well actually, i am a little but im more so lonely, and tired and well, i don't know just odd.

My mum has had Master 3 1/2 the past 3 nights (at her request) so Master 5 and i could spend some one on one time together seeing as it's rare occurrence with him being at school now. It's been lovely, and peaceful and special. We went out for milkshakes and pizza the first night, window shopped the second afternoon, and went to a birthday party at an aquatics centre and  stayed up until 9:30 last night, shopped at the famers market this morning and we have loved every minute of it. We also missed the little man immensely! Who, we saw briefly yesterday morning to pick him up for his first pre-entry kindy session. He's growing up too, i can't believe it. Next year i will have one in school and one at full time kindy and i will be studying my ass off doing the last year of my Nursing degree (YIPEEEEEE).

This afternoon we put up our Christmas Tree, or i should say 'made' our Christmas Tree (side note: i can't believe we're coming up to our second Christmas in our little house). We've gone for something a little alternative this year, i'll have to dig the camera out and post some photo's on my next post. We love it!

Im off to much on some more chips and sip my green tea. Until next time...

It's been while... again!

Did anyone see the tumbleweeds flying through here?! A dear friend has just started a blog which so kindly reminded me that i had deserted my own... oops! But, here i am 6 months on from my last post, still alive, still studying and surprisingly feeling pretty darn good considering it's the end of semester! I have one exam in a week, Pathophysiology and Pharmacology (woopeeeee... no seriously, *rolls eyes*) which i've been kind of studying for (it's on the to do list tomorrow and Wednesday while Master 5 is at school and Master 3in child care) and then 3 weeks of clinical placement at a local hospital and the it's HOLIDAY TIME!!!

On that note, did you read the second to last sentence?! Yes, the  biggest (not so) little man is at school *tear*. Into his second term now and while it all got off to a rocky start, he's the model student now like i knew he always would be, im a proud mumma, he's coming in leaps and bounds. Master 3 is well, just that, 3. Need i say more? He's full of energy, defiant, get's easily frustrated and often goes off like rocket... i think i'll leave it there.

Time is lapsing so quickly, hence the reason i didn't even realise it had been six months since i'd been here... this year is disappearing before my eyes and 2012 is going to be upon us before we know it. I'm now making a promise i hope i will be able to keep, and that is to blog A LOT more regularly... and i know i've said it before and clearly not stood by my word but fingers crossed this time will be different.

With Christmas approaching at lightening speed (again), i've been slowly getting a few bits and pieces organised and plan to do some homemade gifts again which i will blog about as i do them. Some crafty, some cooking, im looking forward to it and just hoping i have enough time!

Until next time...

The best thing about the future is that is comes one day at a time.

Abraham Lincoln.

Pregnancy, Labour, Birth & Beyond Part 2

As promised here i am... Izaak was breastfed until around 10mths from around 9mths old he started weaning himself so feeds were slowly cut out until he had his last one at around 10mths. I never got my period back after having him and once the weaning process had started, i was sitting watching a movie one night when i started getting these immensely sharp pains on the left side of my lower abdomen. I'd never experienced ovulation pain before and sent a text to a friend to confirm that's what they were. This was the end of March, we were going to start TTC in August.

Two weeks and two positive pregnancy tests ( just to make sure, i wasn't convinced) later i was UTD with Kyan! An 18mth age gap (almost to the day) - WOW, we were crazy!

Once again, i was blessed with a smooth and pretty uneventful pregnancy (until the end when i made a few silly decisions that i would definitely change if i had my time over but never mind) with little morning sickness again and not a lot of tiredness.

I didn't get the birth i wanted this time around but alas sometimes you can not have it all, here is Kyan's birth story:

Kyan was due on 30th Dec but I knew he wouldn’t arrive early or on time. Izaak was a week overdue so I wasn’t expecting anything less from baby no.2. My midwife who looked after me throughout my entire pregnancy was leaving to go on holidays on the 3rd of Jan so I really wanted the baby to arrive by then so that she could deliver and she was keen for me to have him before then too.

So... two days before my due date she did a stretch and sweep to get things moving along a bit and I was already about 2cm dilated. That was unsuccessful so she did another on my due date when she discovered I was 4cm dilated and then another, the day after that. None of them really did anything except give me strong non-painful Braxton hicks which I’d been having for a couple of weeks anyway.

I woke up on Thursday the 3rd of January still having the strong Braxton hicks. I went about my morning as usual and realized they were coming about every 7mins. I didn’t want them to stop so i started pacing up and down my lounge room; my DP thought I was crazy. I did this for an hour or so and they still hadn’t changed, coming every 7mins or so but not painful. I decided to ring my midwife and let her know what was going on and ask what I should do. I spoke to my back-up midwife and she suggested i take some panadol and lie down incase to conserve my energy incase it was the real deal.

I went to lay down for awhile when the phone rang at midday and it was my midwife ringing to see how I was feeling. Contractions had stopped while I was resting and my midwife said that she would talk to the midwife in charge of the birth centre and see if she thought breaking my waters was a good idea because I had been 4cm dilated for days.

She rang me back about half an hour later and said all systems were go for that afternoon if i wanted them to break my waters but she did stress it was my choice and I didn’t have to and we could just see what happened. I decided that i was ready to meet my baby so my midwife said just get things organized and head to the hospital when we were ready.

We had some lunch and organized the rest of my bag and Izaak's things and dropped him at my nans. We arrived at the Birth Centre at about 3pm and my midwife said 'lets get things rolling' so i had my waters broken at 3:15pm. My contractions started about 10mins later and were full on straight away (which is exactly how my labour with Izaak started when my waters broke at home) lasting 1min or more and coming every 2mins or so.

Unfortunately my waters had mecconium in them so I was unable to stay in the Birth Centre and have my much wanted 2nd water birth. I was devastated but so caught up in the contractions that I didn’t have much time to be disappointed and upset. We started walking down to Labour and Delivery and got there and settled in the room at about 3:45pm. I started using the gas straight away as the contractions were coming thick and fast and I wasn’t coping. I hopped on the bed and leant over the back which was super comfortable (I used the same position leaning over the edge of the bath during Izaak's labour).

I started getting the urge to push at about 4:15pm and my midwife said i had to hold off from pushing until the pediatrician arrived! Let me tell you this was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, it was impossible to stop my body from pushing as it was doing all the work itself with no help from me!! I started pushing properly at 4:20pm and my little (or not so little) man arrived at 4:30pm. He needed help breathing initially and was very mucousy.

They put a nappy on him and wiped him over briefly and then we got to have some skin to skin cuddles to try and initiate the first breastfeed. He was so mucousy he wasn’t interested in feeding at all. I delivered the placenta without the syntocin about 20mins later and was checked for tears and grazes. I was so sore initially that I was sure I’d done some damage but there was nothing!! I was shocked especially considering his weight!

I got up and had a shower at about 5:30pm and then got to dress my little man and swaddle him before leaving Labour and Delivery and walking up to the post-natal ward. We got up there and settled in at about 6:45pm and he had his first breastfeed at 7pm. That first night he was still extremely mucousy which caused him to be very unsettled but I managed and we left hospital the next afternoon.

As i said in my last blog, the 2 births couldn't have been more different. Izaak's was calm, quiet and peaceful... Kyan's was manic, super fast and im sure you would have heard me screaming from Adelaide! Unfortunately, i think that screaming rubbed off on my little man as that's all he did for the first year (? my mind is a bit sketchy) of his life. 

Ky entered the world screaming (trying to scream, he was REALLY mucousy and had to have some oxygen in the first few minutes) and in a hurry and then came the colic... he was really unsettled and often didn't sleep a lot. I was a zombie and had an 18mth old 'baby' to care for too. It was hard, really hard. I don't remember a lot of Kyan's first year, it's a haze and it's sad. 

The boy's personalities are VERY different and this is what i was referring to in relation to their births... Izaak is the calmer, more reasoning of the two. Kyan is louder, more boisterous and is a little comedian in his own right - he cracks us up. 

Until next time...

Childhood is the most beautiful of all life's seasons - Unknown.

Pregnancy, Labour, Birth & Beyond

Ever since i can remember i've had this (odd) fascination with the above... and now after having my own children i love everything about it. For as long as i can remember i've wanted to become a Midwife (which i am slowly working on) and that feeling has only intensified since having my boys also.

My pregnancy with Izaak was amazing, it was a 'breeze' so to speak. I was one of the lucky ones that i only had little morning (afternoon, evening, ALL bloody day) sickness which i experienced in the form of constant nausea for 14 weeks and also extreme tiredness especially in the afternoons. When you think about it, it can't be easy to grow a baby so no wonder i was so figgin' tired even after sleeping for 12hrs of a night and needing a 2hr nap in the arvo!

I was even luckier to have the labour and birth experience i so desired and an uncomplicated one at that! Here is the 'birth story' i typed up a few days after he arrived:

I was due on Sunday the 18^th of June and every little bit of me was determined not to go overdue so in the week leading up to this date I started rubbing clary sage oil into my belly and bathing with it, acupressure and brisk walking. To no avail Sunday came and went with no action but a moderately soft and shortening cervix discovered through an internal exam 2 days before my due date.

The Wednesday evening following my due date I started having mild contractions that were about 10 minutes apart but not becoming any stronger or closer together. I thought it was early labour so alerted the Birth Centre and went to bed to get some rest. I slept through the night and woke in the morning to find the contractions had stopped. This happened again on Thursday evening and once again they had stopped when I woke up Friday morning. I had an appointment with my midwife that afternoon at which she did another internal and a stretch and sweep. I was booked in to have my waters broken the following Monday if I hadn’t gone into labour over the weekend. I had some more mild contractions that night but had convinced myself that the baby was never coming out and ignored them and they had once again vanished when I woke up on Saturday morning. (I look back on these now and realize they were just Braxton hicks).

I went to bed at about 10:30pm on Saturday night feeling extremely restless. I dozed on and off until about 1:00am Sunday morning when I started having mild contractions again. I went back to sleep only to be woken at 3:30am with a very strong contraction. I got out of bed and went to the toilet and felt my hind waters break as I sat down. I started timing the contractions which were coming every 2-4minutes and lasting anywhere between 20 seconds and a minute long. They were intensifying quite quickly so I soon realized it wasn’t another false alarm and in fact labour. I rang the Birth Centre and as I was coping ok with the contractions and being my first baby the midwife suggested I stay at home as long as I could (which I wanted to do anyway). By 4:20am the contractions were coming every 2minutes and had intensified so much that I couldn’t time them any more. I got into the shower at 4:30am and stayed there until 5:00am when I got out and got dressed and rang the midwife again. She asked if I wanted to come in and I wasn’t sure so she said stay home a little longer but call back the minute you’re not coping and then come in. By 6:00am I was ready to go to the hospital.

The car ride to the hospital was difficult as I was feeling nauseated but the contractions slowed down a bit so I got some rest in between. We arrived at the hospital at 6:45am and went straight into one of the Birth Centre rooms. I dealt with the contractions by walking around a bit and also by leaning over the sink (cause’ I was still feeling really sick).

 My mum arrived not long after we did so she could see the birth of her first grandchild. At about 7:15am my midwife Jo (who I had become familiar with after having my four previous appointments with) did an internal and found that I was 3-4cm dilated. She then asked if I wanted them to run the bath and I told them I definitely did as the contractions were coming thick and fast and I was having trouble breathing through and coping with them. It took about 15 minutes for the bath to fill and once my body hit the warm water I completely relaxed (about 7:30am).It was at this stage that my student midwife Lindsay arrived. Although the contractions were still coming as intense and fast as before the water really helped to take the edge off them. I was in the water for about ½ an hour (about 8:00am) when I was no longer coping with the contractions as well as I was when I first entered the bath. It was at this stage I asked for some pain relief and started using the gas. This worked fantastically for me and soon I was no longer feeling the intensity of the contractions, which was great as I relaxed even more. At about 9:30am as each contraction came I felt the urge to push and my body also started involuntarily pushing for me. For me the pushing stage was not painful at all and I actually enjoyed it very much. I didn’t get the stinging sensation that had been described to me, as I was pushing the head out, only the feeling of euphoria as I knew that each push was bringing me closer to the moment I would meet my baby.

Izaak Ashley entered the world at 9:47am, peacefully into the water. He was then placed on my chest for our first cuddle. He weighed 8lb 11oz and was 51.5cm long… I got away with just two small grazes.

Contrasting the two birth experiences i had with the boys often has me pondering about their personalities and the sleep behaviours... Izaak entered the world calmly and into a serene environment, he barely cried and was an amazing feeder and sleeper from the word go. Kyan on the other hand, well that's a story for another time and i will save that for Pregnancy, Labour, Birth & Beyond part 2...

I have no idea why i've only just realised...

that it is incredibly difficult to be and stay positive and insightful when you are stressed. Alas, i am back at Uni, 2nd week in and im feeling the stress and pressure build up already. It's not so much the workload at present (in saying that thought it is effing huge already, 'scuse the french) it is more so the prospect of what i know is coming up. Numerous assignments, plus reading fifty billion pages a week (and noting them at the same time) and then there's the Drug Calc's test in week 4 (in 2 weeks time!!!!) which we have to pass with 100% before we can move on and all the rest as well. Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I might take this chance to mention that i am no good at maths, never have been, never will be. Im more of a creative spirit, don't do numbers! So, i've been trying to brush up on the basics and then grapple the idea of the various formulas to work out how many mg of a certain drug i need to give to a patient if the tablet dose is 250mg and they only need 125mg etc etc you get the jist.

Needless to say, i've had a tension/stress headache since before i went to bed last night, it is now 7pm the following day and its STILL here and i'd love for it to p*ss off!

Oright, back to the books *sigh*

Oh, and just a little reminder why im doing this (for me and for you):

'Action is the foundational key to all success'
Pablo Picasso

I love cooking!

It's my 'thing'. I love everything about it... the choosing of recipes and meals, shopping for the ingredients, the produce, the preparation, the aromas, i just love it all the whole process! Nothing makes me happier than to use fresh, local ingredients to create healthy, wholesome meals for my family. The kitchen is definitely one of my favourite rooms in the house, when i am cooking i feel happy and positive, everything i am striving for in life. I am going to start adding a few photos of meals i've made every now and then and i'll hopefully be able to include the recipes too. Enjoy!

This was our dinner tonight, nothing out of the ordinary for us, we love salad and we love to share! Zucchini, Pumpkin & Bacon Slice with homemade Garlic Bread and a salad plate.

For the garlic bread, i used a brought french stick and filled it with a mix of butter, garlic, chives and continental parsley - delicious!

This is my basic Zucchini Slice recipe, i've just substituted some of the zucchini for pumpkin this time.

Zucchini Slice

Ingredients (serves 15)

• 5 eggs
• 150g (1 cup) self-raising flour, sifted
• 375g zucchini, grated
• 1 large onion, finely chopped
• 200g rindless bacon, chopped
• 1 cup grated cheddar cheese
• 60ml (1/4 cup) vegetable oil

 Method:

• Preheat oven to 170°C. Grease and line a 30 x 20cm lamington pan.
• Beat the eggs in a large bowl until combined. Add the flour and beat until smooth, then add zucchini, onion, bacon, cheese and oil and stir to combine. Pour into the prepared pan and bake in oven for 30 minutes or until cooked through.

This is a dessert i made a couple of weeks ago to take to a friends for dinner, alas me and one of my boys didn't make it due to him being sick but the tart made it and it was a massive hit!

  

Strawberry & White Chocolate Tart

Shortcrust pastry

Serves 10
Cooking Time Prep time 10 mins, cook 25 mins (plus chilling, resting)

250 gm	(1 2/3 cups) plain flour
190 gm	unsalted butter, coarsely chopped, chilled
1	egg yolk

1	Process flour, butter and a pinch of salt in a food processor until fine crumbs form.
2	Add egg yolk and enough chilled water (about 3-4 tsp) and process until mixture just forms a dough (2-4 seconds).
3	Turn pastry onto a floured surface and lightly knead with the heel of your hand until the pastry comes together.
4	Form pastry into a disc, wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate until chilled (2-3 hours).
5	Roll pastry, using a rolling pin, on a lightly floured surface to 3mm thick.
6	Brush excess flour from pastry with a pastry brush, then use pastry cutters to cut lining for individual cases or roll pastry backwards over rolling pin to lift pastry and line large tart case. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to rest.
7	Preheat oven to 200C. Blind bake pastry until golden (15-25 minutes), then cool on a wire rack.

Note Makes forty 4cm tartlets, six 12cm tartlets or a 25cm tart.

Tart Filling

1 block of good quality white chocolate (cadbury dream or whittakers is great)

1 tub of sour cream

Fresh strawberries or raspberries

Melt chocolate over water bath, stir in sour cream and whisk until smooth. Pour into cooled tart shell and refrigerate until firm (approximately 2hrs). Top with halved fresh strawberries or raspberries.

Enjoy! This is now one of my favourite desserts, it's so quick and easy and versatile!

Until next time...

 

Emotions.

Wonderful, sometimes embarrassing and frustrating but essential to our being. I've discovered this week that it is extremely hard to think and process information as well as make decisions when your emotional, whether you are frustrated, in despair, angry, upset or damn right furious, you just cannot think nor can you or should you try to or make decisions!

Once the storm blows over and you take a few breaths, calm down and can think clearly the situation never seems as bad as it did when you were in the thick of those raging emotions and let me tell you it is so much easier to see how everything WILL work out rather than crying, growling and waving your arms in the air saying (or writing) angrily 'that there is no way possible it can happen'.

In saying that, im feeling positively calm and only a little anxious and emotional about what this semester will bring, not only in terms of the workload at Uni but also the stress and coping and the fact that i most likely won't get as much time as i hoped to spend with my precious little men.

My biggest little man is off to school in July and in the perfect world it would have been lovely to spend as much time as possible with him over the next two terms but alas that more than likely won't be happening and we'll just have to 'suck it up' so to speak, stay positive and i will keep reminding myself that i am doing this for our future, to make those dreams come true.

'Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.'
 Ralph Waldo Emerson

'Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.'
 Ralph Vaull Starr


'Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.'
 John Homer Miller

Im happy.

It seems life is going just how i want it to right now and even better im happy. My Uni holidays are coming to an end (4 days to go and counting) and i've enjoyed nothing more than to have a taste of and remember what it used to be like being a stay at home mum, and i would be lying if i said i didn't miss it but on the flip side im strangely looking forward to getting back into the routine, challenge and craziness that the University life brings.

The boys have been sick once each over the past few months and it's been awesome to spend some one on one time with each of them while the other was at child care, it's not something i've had much time to do since Kyan came along almost exactly 18mths after Izaak. Today was one of the rare days i've had to spend some one on one time with my eldest little dude and it was quiet but humbling all at the same time, it was bliss and what made it even more special was when this afternoon, we both lied down on my bed and read our books, just lying quietly next to each other not saying a word, that was until the Mr got  bored and started giving me snuggles and telling me he loved me and then he loved me SO much - melted my heart. These boys are so special, i love them with every tiny molecule of my being...

When im feeling organised and in control im so much happier, calmer and a lot more patient and reasonable. This is how i am feeling right now, even with the first semester of my 2nd year of Uni looming... i have my work books, new pens, plans to get my textbooks and car parking first day back and hope to head down to Uni on Friday to get my new Student ID card (with 2 boisterous young boys in tow im not sure how successful i will be but we'll see).

I have a relatively easy meal plan for each night next week which i created on purpose and i've accidentally filled my freezer with delicious healthy leftovers - sweet and spicy chicken fried rice with brown rice, spaghetti bol' meat with lentils added to make a shepherds pie (i'll just add a few more veggies), a sausage and veggie casserole AND leftovers from tonight's meal of what is essentially homemade baked beans - smokey chilli beans! 

I am ready, so ready to do this! I can't wait to see what this year brings... so until next time, i'll leave you with this positive, inspiring passage about success that i love (and im sure next time i blog it will be coming from a lot less calm me LOL, well im hoping i don't get too stressed too quickly):

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." 


Ralph Waldo Emerson.

So it seems im not very good...

at this blogging business. It's been a month since i last blogged hmmmmmmmmmm...

So one thing that i've been thinking about a lot lately and reassessing constantly is my choice in how and what i choose to feed my family. I try my hardest to buy locally grown, in season and fresh produce. Im getting there slowly, we buy meat from the local country butcher who purchases their produce locally, along with biodynamic/organic milk and yoghurt which is made locally and although there is not always time we try to go to the local farmers market often.

I love the feeling of know im feeding my family the best and freshest produce i can :) although i must admit it's not always budget friendly - this is my dilemma! I love cooking, i think i will start blogging some of my cooking adventures... this a one step closer the the positivity i speak of in the name of my blog - cooking is an outlet, which then means im feeling positive.

Until next time... which hopefully won't be so few and far between!

It's been awhile...

but im back! All the Christmas and New Year hoohaa has died down and we're slowly getting back to some kind of normalcy and routine, it's nice. 

It's raining today, has been for most of the day and is refreshing to say the least... but while we have water falling from the sky and are embracing it, our fellow Aussies in QLD  do not need nor want the rain as they have water washing away their towns and houses causing chaos and destruction and evoking the most raw emotions, ones i never thought i could feel.

I never considered myself an emotional person. I was bullied in school both primary and high school, my friendships never lasted- im too trusting and like to think the best of people but ALWAYS end up getting hurt in the end. During those times in school i was the 'tough' one sticking up for myself and almost never shedding a tear and well now, say boo to me the wrong way and i will bawl. I never used to cry at the drop of a hat like i've (almost) done so many times in the last few years...

I think im going to blame it on my boys, but in a good way... i love being the emotional person i've grown into now and i think it is the hormones of pregnancy and the pure, heart stopping love i feel for my children that has caused the new (well not so new it's been a few years) more emotional me. Sometimes it's not so great but it's all taken in my stride and i deal with it...

I tear up when i hear or read labour and birth stories, when one of my own or one of my friends children do or say something that takes my breath away, when someone tells me how proud of me they are for what i am achieving,  when my friends and loved ones are hurting, i hurt too, when i know all i've done is been there for, loved and trusted but still get hurt and especially when i see the raw and heartbreaking devastation and hear the terrified and broken voices of the surviviors of the floods and when i heard, read and saw the devastation caused by the 'Black Saturday' bush fires... it feels like my heart is breaking and then the tears flow and don't stop.

The QLD flood survivors and the unfortunate losses of life, the motivation for this post, i am sending love, courage and strength to get through this horrifying time xx